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"ok YOU try having a fictional relationship with someone after they'd fictionally used you for marzipanning trepanning while they wore fictional upset toddlers as legs, and not be bitter"
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Ever since I first encountered Innerneh Enigma Chinnyhill10 back in 2006 his obssession with British celebrities of yesteryear was stamped loud and proud across his very electric face. Over the last few years he'd often mention BBC Radio 1 DJs mysteriously trying to sell Amigas and components through one of the biggest Amiga related magazines of the era, Amiga Format. Naturally I thought he'd suffered some manner of head trauma, but it wasn't until I acquired an almost complete AF collection that I was in the position to verify his claims.

Last night I finally tracked down the adverts in question. I'd missed them on my first scans through a couple of years ago as I was expecting a huge news story of some sort rather than cheap looking ads for mail order companies. Well, I done scanned em and here they are. The first scan dates as June 1993, or issues 47 of AF, and the last is March 1994. I've prodded The Chin to add a few words for each of the pics to give it a bit of backstory, so over to him!

Not a name you’ve heard of? In the early 90’s Jakki was Radio 1’s only daytime female presenter taking over the midday slot from Gary "Bit In The Middle" Davies. She also did stints on "The Pops" and was considered to be a rising star what with being young and female at at time when Radio 1 was dominated by dinosaurs like Simon Bates.

Why did Indi choose Jakki? Perhaps she was an Amiga expert, or perhaps Simon Mayo was too expensive and had some integrity regarding what he promoted.

Jakki is clearly well up on the Amiga scene. As a DJ on National Radio 1 it’s important to be down with the kids, so it would be vital to know the names of the Commodore suits such as David Pleasance. Indeed she’s also well up on Wang as well who service the warranties for Commodore.

In order to hide the fact they only have one photo of Jakki, Indi cunningly flip the photo this month fooling everyone!

Newswise she’s been keeping abreast of the scene. You’d think with a daily Radio 1 show she’d be busy interviewing Right Said Fred and reading Smash Hits, but no, she’s had her head buried in Amiga Format and is now dishing out the advice on the differences between an A600 and an A1200 as well as the new Amiga CD.

She’s been flipped back, fooling us for a second time. Turns out if you write to Jakki she’ll send you a signed photo. Sadly I cannot say which way the signed photo would be, but do know such a photo would fetch as much as 99p on Ebay these days.

Not only is Jakki namedropping the Opalvision 24 (a high end and expensive graphics card), but also starts dishing out tips on Amiga DOS, something I still find baffling to this day. Either she’s a real hardcore Amiga fan or this entire column is a sham put together by Simon in marketing. But Jakki wouldn’t do that do us would she?

It’s CD32 time. Being a crack journo she’s ripped apart the Sega press release from June like some loud jacketed Roger Cook. She’s also convinced the CD32 is the future which assures me that she does indeed know what she is talking about.

If you were still under the illusion that Jakki might just be writing this stuff, check out the final paragraph namedropping a rival retailer that has just gone bust.

It’s all gone out the window now, it’s just a list of what the Indi marketing department need to flog this Christmas.

A change of photograph and a column that is only filling half the space. There’s no mention of Amiga’s all of a sudden. In fact Jakki is off from Radio 1 to LA, according to the column of her own accord. Claims she’s landed “the job of a lifetime as Radio 1’s official West Coast correspondent”. A position she says that took months of negotiations with her Radio 1 bosses. According to Wikipedia “this never transpired”. Every get the feeling this column will be ending soon?

This is being phoned in now. The bare minimum needed. Regardless of who is writing this, they no longer care.

The nations favourite short arse chart presenter joins Calculus. He’s keen on Amigas and Panasonic gear, which is handy as that is what Calculus flog. If he had been an ST and Sony fan he wouldn’t have got the gig. Let’s hope he pays more attention to this that when he played that Rage Against The Machine track on the chart show.

Here’s a useful tip from Bruno for A500 compatibility. Apropos of nothing, every A1200 included this “tip” on a separate piece of paper in the box as I recall, rendering Bruno repeating it ENTIRELY POINTLESS.

Bruno Brookes, chart presenter, TV star, and futurologist predicts the success of the CD32, a console that went on to sell precisely 8 units.

Budding programmer? Want to make your millions? Forget sending your game to Ocean or Codemasters, Bruno says give it away for free and you’ll be rolling in Ferraris like the guys at Imagine in no time.

Killing in the name of Workbench.

And there we go. Ta Chins! Archived for eternity. You can find Chinny and all his musing on The Twitters.

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